André-Louis Paré
No. 138 - Fall 2024

The Process of Mourning, Between Forgetting and Remembering


In its most simple definition, mourning is an affective state of feeling sorrow over the loss, absence or death of someone. Yet it can also be a difficult ordeal to go through when it marks a transition in one’s life. Though experienced in different ways, these communal afflictions require a process of adaptation.

According to psychoanalysis, the aim of what is known as “the work of mourning” is to accept that the deceased person is gone. As Sigmund Freud (1865–1939) proposed, this does not mean that the mourner must renounce the dead or no longer miss them, but rather make peace with the departed, regardless of the circumstances. In his book Le deuil impossible nécessaire (Nota bene, 2005), Nicolas Lévesque subtly calls into question this Freudian analysis. As it may never end, mourning remains a mystery. Lévesque also challenges the idea that we have to “kill the dead” in order to live normally; on the contrary, this suffering “leaves traces and impressions.”

For a long time in the West, the expression “to be in mourning” was symbolized by the colour of our attire: black or dark clothing was an explicit sign of our state of being. Yet secular societies have found dealing with death increasingly difficult. According to historian Philippe Ariès (1914–1984), death has replaced sexuality as a major taboo. Rituals around mourning have thus become less and less noticeable. The sorrow caused by mourning is confined to the intimate and personal sphere. However, thanks to artistic expression, mourning finds


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